You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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