I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
