I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
