It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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