How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
