i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
