I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
