How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
