I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
