i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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