I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
