And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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