So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
