see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
