Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
