I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
