then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
