and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
