it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
