you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
