omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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