What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
