the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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