yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
