Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
