Where is the hickey?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
