He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
