Nicole vs. Life
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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