That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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