last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
