We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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