did you get engaged???
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
