You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
