I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
