Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
