I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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