Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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