hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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