Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
