would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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