Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
