she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You have to summon your inner elephant
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
