32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
