Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
