We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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