she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
