I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
