The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
