I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
