i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
