2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
