i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
