The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
