I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
